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If you don’t know that the movie The Avengers is out and breaking all kinds of box office records, you simply have not been paying attention. For everyone else, rather than looking at it simply as 143 minutes of mindless entertainment (as great as that is), let’s consider what it says about what we believe about humanity, superegos, teamwork, and turning ‘it is all about me’ into ‘us’.

One of the biggest challenges any leader or coach faces is getting superheroes to work together. I hope none of us need to defend the human race anytime soon. But, what we saw in The Avengers is that a common goal, one that could not be attained by any one hero alone, forced them to be willing to work together as a group, but not a team – at first

Becoming a team meant they individually, had to figure out their role, where they fit and realize that team success also brought individual success. They had to be willing to have each other’s backs. To get there they had to bicker (okay, flat out fight) with each other. They had to learn each other’s strengths and decide they were willing to defend, support and (dare I say) help each other. Fortunately for them, Loki and his army waited to really attack until the team had their act together (oh yeah, it’s a movie and they can write it that way).

We obviously believe (to the tune of an expected $1 billion worldwide), that superheroes can work together. Even though there is evidence in many boardrooms and on too many sports fields that big egos would rather finger point in the press and tweet obnoxiously about their teammates. “Proving” you have to deal with drama queens, tantrums and narcissistic behavior if you have superpowers on your team.

Here is my question; do your earth changing projects have time built into them for your superegos, er… heroes, to determine how and where they fit in the puzzle? Do you have a Nick Fury to help them through the process? Well, maybe someone a little more keen on communication and productive conflict would be good. But you get my point. Or, do you throw your ‘stars’ at a problem with the assumption they’ll just make it happen?

When your Thor and Iron Man come to blows, do they come out hating or respecting each other? You might not be able to get a “volatile, self obsessed, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist” to do something selfless that almost gets him killed. But you might be able to get him to play nice with others – so long as he understands what’s in it for him.

I have a kicker question – All of these superheroes are men, with the exception of one woman who made it through the glass ceiling (the discussion of how she got there and if she was really a hero would be a different post, stay focused). How would the teambuilding process be different if the heroes and egos were women with one man or at least 50% women? Here outside the movie theater, that is a very valid question.

What do you think the success of The Avengers says about how we believe teams are built and succeed? I believe we can learn from what we accept as possible in the movies to create amazing teams, even when the stakes aren’t quite as high as the domination and destruction of earth.

Am I crazy or am I right? Let me know in the comments.

Dr. Robyn Odegaard is the CEO/Owner of the speaking/consulting company Champion Performance Development, the founder of the Stop The Drama! Campaign and author of the book ‘Stop The Drama! The Ultimate Guide to Female Teams’. She specializes in showing people how to use language powerfully to achieve more from their potential. You can invite her to speak to your group and inquire about her other services at www.ChampPerformance.com and order her book from www.StopTheDramaNow.com

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20 Things Mom Said But You Can’t Say at Work

May 7, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

With a nod to all of the amazing women who are Mothers, I offer you twenty things your Mother said that you wish you could (but can’t) say at work.

20.   Don’t put that in your mouth; you don’t know where it’s been!

19.   You’ll understand when you’re older.

18.   You’re the oldest. You should know better.

17    People in Hades want ice water. The answer is still NO!

16.   You had better wipe that smile off your face before I do it for you.

15.   Your face is going to get stuck that way.

14.   This hurts me more than it hurts you

13.   I am doing this for your own good.

12.   Go ask your father.

11.   I brought you into this world; I can take you out of it!

10.   You’re grounded!

9.    If you are going to cry I will give you something to cry about.

8.    Say you’re sorry…and MEAN it!

7.    If I hear that again I will wash your mouth out with soap!

6.    I don’t CARE who started it!

5.    Who died and made you the boss?

4.    I do NOT have to explain myself to you!

3.    I will treat you like an adult when you act like one!

2.    I am going to count to three.  One….

And the number one thing your Mother said that you wish you could say at work…

  1. BECAUSE I SAID SO!

What other “Mom sayings” do you wish you could use at work?  Share them with us in the comments.

Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms!

Dr. Robyn Odegaard is the CEO/Owner of the speaking/consulting company Champion Performance Development, the founder of the Stop The Drama! Campaign and author of the book ‘Stop The Drama! The Ultimate Guide to Female Teams’.  She specializes in showing people how to use language powerfully to achieve more from their potential.   You can invite her to speak to your group and inquire about her other services at www.ChampPerformance.com and order her book from www.StopTheDramaNow.com

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Creating Normal Out of Stupid

April 30, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  No Comments

As human beings we can get used to anything. “Reality” TV as entertainment? Sure, why not. A political system that elects narcissists to represent the needs of the people? We can live with that. Un-sportsmanlike sports stars? Yep, that’s normal. Marriages measured in days? Check. College graduates not being able to find jobs? It’s the economy.

All of those things sound crazy and yet they happen all the time. What craziness are you just accepting in your world?

I recently worked with someone who was venting about a client. He didn’t respect time, making and canceling appointments at the last minute. When he did keep appointments the issue was always substantially larger than he indicated and he just expected the team to work on his concerns until they were complete. Who cares if he only requested a 90 minute meeting for a four hour problem? He was the client. My question – Why would you keep a “C” level client like that and let him negatively affect your ability to support your “A” level clients? That is creating normal.

A client complained that her vendor wasn’t supplying what she needed, didn’t return her calls and was generally MIA. I asked, “Why do you keep working with them.” Her response, “I have paid them so much already and don’t want to start over with someone else.” In addicted gamblers we call that chasing losses. Cut ties with that vendor and invest in one who is going to give you what you need. Maybe you have to litigate with the first one and seek a refund. Certainly don’t keep paying them for a sub-par result. That is creating normal.

Do you have a team member who isn’t pulling their weight? Do you delegate and then have to redo work? Maybe you feel like you don’t have time to train them properly so you hope they will get it soon. You really don’t want to have to go through the hiring process again so you are just trying to make it work. That is creating normal.

Anytime you create normal out of stupid you are wasting time, energy and money. It is so easy to recognize it when we see it on TV, in politics, on sports teams or in other people’s lives. Are you turning a blind eye to it in your business or in life?

Maybe you can’t do anything about what people view as entertainment, we don’t get to choose who decides to run for office, how much craziness is allowed from athletes, how much respect other people have for their marriage vows or make companies hire recent grads. But you do get to decide what works for your business. What areas do you see normal being created out of stupid?

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Communication is Like Driving

April 23, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

If you have ever read resumes or visited LinkedIn pages you have seen this phrase: “Exceptional at oral and written communication”.  What exactly does that mean?  I had a meeting with a man once who said, “I am a great communicator.  I ALWAYS say exactly what I mean.  I can’t help it if people don’t understand me.”  I don’t know what you think, but to me that sounds like someone who is awful at communication.  But I bet his LinkedIn profile says differently.

What about the person who believes they are good at reading between the lines to get at what people really mean but instead just end up taking things out of context?  That person believes she is a great communicator.

Communication is an absolute necessity of the human condition.  We have more ways than ever to get in touch with one another, phone, fax, email, IM, DM, text, Facebook post, tweet, Pinterest, and yes you can still mail a letter. If everyone is so good at communication and we have so many ways to communicate with each other why is there SO much miscommunication?

The evidence says we actually aren’t that good at it.  Sure, we all know how to talk.  For the most part we master that by the time we are five years old.  From there it is just a matter of expanding our vocabulary.  But where do we learn the art of communication?  How do we come to understand how to make sure someone knows we heard them?  Are there lessons in grade school that teach us to recognize when what we said is not what the other person heard?  From what I can tell everyone is involved in communication by trial and error.  And I think there is a lot more error than there needs to be.

Here are a few of the success tips I give when I speak boiled down into bullet points:

  • Tell me what you need so I can help you get it.
  • You can’t hold someone accountable to provide something you haven’t told them you need.
  • Stop assuming and start asking questions.
  • Men and Women have different communication DNA – understand it and great things will happen
  • Address disagreements when they are small.  Don’t wait until they explode.

So who has the motivation to deal with the swirling mess of miscommunication?  Anyone who wants to have a successful business, climb the corporate ladder, make more money, have happier relationships, raise better adjusted children, stop bullying, leave a legacy or just have less frustration in their lives.  Do you see yourself in any of those?

What are you doing to avoid communication ‘accidents’?  Don’t assume you are good at communication just because you can talk.

But wait let me guess, you are a better than average driver and excellent at communication.

If you recognize the power of effective communication and would like a speaker for your group or some personal coaching let’s start a conversation to make it happen.  There is no time like the present.

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Are You Living Your Perfect Life?

April 16, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

If you have ever hear me speak you know that I love to say “You can’t hold someone responsible for giving you what you want if you never tell them what it is”.  That also applies to you in your life.

I was recently asked, “What do you do about a team member who is jealous?”  I responded by saying they should ask that teammate what they are doing to achieve or deserve the things they were jealous of.  That also applies to you in your life.

I just finished up an interview about salary negotiation where I said that the two most important things you can do is have the facts and know what you want. That also applies to you in your life.

You are 100% responsible for making your life what you want it to be.  I am not saying there aren’t things that are outside of our control or that we should never take the needs of other people into consideration.   I am saying if life isn’t going where you want it to, you have the control and the responsibility to change it.

Ask yourself these questions:

  • If my life was perfect, what would it look like?
  • What small steps can I take to move toward one of those things?
  • If I am not moving toward anything from my perfect life, why not?

If your answers to the last question are about other people, you are not taking responsibility for your own happiness.  There is nothing that says happiness will be handed to you on a silver platter.  But you do have the right to pursue it.  If you’re not, that’s on you.

Once you have the answers to those questions you will know what you want and that you are responsible for moving toward your goals.   Now it’s time to gather the facts:

  • Why am I passionate about this goal? The answer to this question is going to keep you moving when things get tough or you get down.  If you don’t know why you want something you won’t have the fire to keep driving forward when you reach a road block.  The why is tied to your emotions.  And emotions are King of the Land inside your mind.  Tie your emotions to your goal and the drive will be there.
  • What does it take to reach one of my goals in my perfect life? If you want to meet your soul mate, you should be out meeting people.  If you want to run a marathon, you better on a training plan.  If you want a better job, engage in research for what’s out there and how to get it.
  • How have other people reached my goal? There is no better way to make something happen than to follow a path that you know ends where you want to be.  There is no reason to hack your way through the jungle if someone else already did it.  Even if no one has reached the exact place you want to be, gather information that is similar and meld it to your unique goal.

I am living my perfect life because I am in hot pursuit of my passions every day.  I know, for as long as I am on this planet I will be striving to make a positive difference in the lives of everyone I meet.  That quest will never end. The goal will never be reached until I have helped every person on the planet; and yet I am fulfilled everyday by the pursuit.

Do you have a mission that makes your life perfect? Share it with us!  If you don’t, I highly recommend finding one.  It will make the ride worthwhile!

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Can a Niche be Too Narrow?

April 9, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments



It is has become a common mantra that everyone is looking for their ‘niche’; the part of the market they can own.  In business we see people becoming more and more specialized.  Even in the athletic world players are becoming focused on a specific role.  Overall the concentration on becoming an expert in a finite area is seen as a good thing.  But is it possible to become too “niched”?   I believe the answer is yes.  There are some serious negatives to consider when thinking about your niche.

  • Fewer Opportunities – As you gain expertise in a specific area you may start to be seen as a clutch player.  That is great when there are lots of clutch plays.  But when the ‘game’ goes smoothly you might find yourself standing on the sidelines.  Consider the football linebacker who is the “go to guy” for third and short.  If there are rarely third and short opportunities he is going to be warming the bench.  And too much time warming the bench can mean being cut from the team.

The solution – Go ahead and focus on becoming an expert in your niche but not at the cost of all else.  Maintain all of the skills you need to be successful in your business.  That way you can part of the everyday game during the regular season and still be clutch player who makes the huge play when you are needed in the playoffs.

  • Lower Income Stream – Clearly as a niche becomes smaller the number of people in it to buy your product become less.  It is a simple matter of numbers.

The solution – You have two options, either decide to make your niche bigger or charge more for your product/service within your niche.  If the market within your niche will support a higher price tag – great, you have no problem.  If that isn’t an option you may have to consider broadening your boundaries a little bit to survive.

  • Slower Growth – This goes hand-in-hand with the issue of income stream.  Fewer potential customers = less revenue = slower growth.

The solution – When working in a small niche you must protect your reputation at all costs.  It is a small world within a niche and all of your potential clients are likely to know each other.  That is a great thing if they are all singing your praises.  It will be disastrous if someone feels mistreated.  If you want to grow within your niche you MUST make your clients feel heard and like they are receiving world class service.

What do you think? Is it possible that some of us have become so focused on our niche that we are losing sight of the bigger picture and the people we could help if we were willing to expand outside our narrow focus?  Let me know in the comments!

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In case you have been living under a rock, the Women’s NCAA finals game is happening in Denver on Tuesday night.  Denver is also host to the Women’s Basketball Coaches Association’s national convention, at which I was a speaker on Saturday.  In honor of those two events I am posting an article I wrote for the March issue of Coaching Women’s Basketball magazine:

Coach D sat back in his chair with a huff as his office door closed behind one of his star athletes.  For the last three hours there had been a stream of young ladies through his office; each of them angry, crying or both.  There was so much “she said, she said”, who was seen out with whose boyfriend and who was an awful roommate that his head was swimming.  It had even been casually mentioned, “Maybe Sue (the athletic director) can help us”.

“Great” Coach D thought, “That is just what I need.  My boss involved in this craziness.  I took this job to coach basketball, not to referee girl drama.” He looked at the team picture hanging on the wall.  He had recruited great players.  Individually they all had great skills.  Together they were bickering, backstabbing and petty.  The energy during practice was awful.  Some players tried to keep the peace while others were openly hostile.  The bus ride home from last weekend’s loss had been icy silence punctuated by snide comments.

Coach rubbed his face with his hands and said out loud to no one, “Why can’t they just shut-up and play?”

Everyone who has ever worked with or around women’s teams has asked this question at one time or another.  And sadly the answer usually is, “Girls are just like that.  They are mean to each other.”  That doesn’t have to be the case.  If you are like most coaches you are about more than your team’s win/loss record.  You also feel responsible for developing young women who succeed after basketball.  If that sounds like you, you are doing them a disservice by allowing them to “just be like that”.

Here are a few strategies that your team can implement right away to make a positive difference on and off the court:

  • Start sentences with “I” not “you”.  Speaking from the “I” helps everyone own her feelings and state her opinion as an opinion rather than a fact.  Sentences that start with “you” are typically blaming and create defensiveness.
  • Assume the positive.  We are so quick to assume something negative about other people.  “She hurt me on purpose.”  Instead of immediately going to the negative, try to make up a positive or at least a neutral reason why something happened.  Even better, ask.
  • Commit to having tough conversations while they are small.  Too often we let something little fester until it explodes.  Nobody likes conflict but it is much easier to handle when it is one issue rather than several swirled together by the gossip mill.

Creating a great, drama free team doesn’t happen by accident.  It happens through purposeful conversations that create an effective team communication fingerprint.   Conflict is going to happen.  Turn it into productive conflict and you will have a team who cares about each other enough to give tough feedback tactfully and trusts each other enough to apply it.

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When a Team is Less Than the Sum of its Parts

March 26, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

I usually write about achieving the most from existing potential.  This post is not an exception to that goal.  You know I am a big proponent of great teamwork.  That is also still the case.  However, sometimes using a team is not the best direction to take.

Have you heard of the 20-60-20 rule?  That is, 20% of people are go-getters, 60% are average or mediocre and the last 20% are slackers.  Unless you have somehow managed to attract 100% of your people from the top 20% group (which is unlikely) your team is made up of this 20-60-20 breakdown.

With that knowledge consider this:  Teams are designed to move forward together, generally by consensus.   Consensus is driven by majority vote.  Based on the 20-60-20 breakdown the absolute best you are going to get is average output.  In the worst case scenario a team will only move as fast as the slowest person.  Which means you will get less than average output.  These issues will frustrate your top performers and can cause them to disengage.

It may sound like I am suggesting that you never use teams.  That is certainly not the case.  There are times when something can only be completed through team effort.  It is important to know when that is the case and when it is not.  If the work can be completed by one or two of your top performers, don’t assign it to a team.  If there is a succession of work, don’t make the person who has to be involved at day 45 sit in all the meetings leading up her piece.  Send all the information someone needs and none of what they don’t (a fine line to walk, certainly).

When a team is the right answer, keep in mind the 20-60-20 rule and remember the top 20% will produce more by themselves than they will if they have to work with the bottom 20%.  For example: when an A student has to work in a group with a D student the A student can either accept that he will receive a C on the project or do all of the work himself.  If your “A employee” is going to do all the work anyway, don’t make her share the recognition with a “D employee”.

Knowing your employees, their skills and where they fall on the 20-60-20 continuum will help you decide if forming a team is the right answer and who to put on the team.  Combine that with the knowledge we have about building great teams and you can create something greater than the sum of its parts.

Have you ever been on a team that struggled with the 20-60-20 problem?  What was the outcome?

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Is Anti-Bullying Training Needed in the Workplace?

March 19, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  No Comments

There are laws that have made bullying in schools a crime.  Teachers are required to take continuing education courses in bully prevention.  There is an expectation (and rightly so) that school age children can and should be taught better than to bully each other.

But what about grownups?

When I was working in the corporate world I was on a conference call where a group of us were troubleshooting a problem.  I had not been involved in the creation of the problem, but I was a pretty big player in creating the solution.  About twenty minutes into the call the boss two levels up came on the line.  He didn’t ask where we were or what we were working on, or even who was on the phone, he just started screaming and cursing and threatening to fire people.  In that moment I realized that the only person on that call he had the authority to fire was me.

Once he got done screaming and hung up, I was rattled, but we went back to work and solved the problem.  Of course the screaming boss took the credit and I was told that next time I shouldn’t let problems like that occur.

When I do book signings, presentations, radio or TV interviews I am regularly asked what people can do about a bullying boss or coworker.  I even wrote this post about it in the past.  So why is bullying and intimidation in the workplace accepted?  And worse, even rewarded?

It is clear that there are a lot of bosses and coworkers out there who have not been trained how to use productive conflict resolution.  It seems that many organizations don’t care about how their managers are getting results as long as they get them.

Do you think it is a company’s responsibility to make sure they hire and train managers who treat people well and to discipline, retrain or remove bullies?  Do we need laws about bullying in the workplace like we have laws about sexual harassment?

I know I usually try to offer tips and advice here.  But today I’m asking you – does the government need to step in and require adults to treat each other with the respect and dignity we expect from grade school children?

Share your thoughts here in the comments or on our Facebook page.

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Too Many Chefs Spoil the Stew?

March 12, 2012  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

Did you know there are studies that show as the average education level of a team rises the team becomes more likely to disintegrate into unproductive conflict?  Highly educated people are less likely to share information vital to the team’s success with each other.   In short, they don’t collaborate well.  The studies suggest the more driven, high achieving, well schooled individuals you put on a team the less likely it is to succeed.

Obviously that isn’t good news for those of us who realize there is no way one person can know all there is to know about the complex, international projects facing many of us today.  Just last week I was telling you to surround yourself with great people if you want great things to happen.  Now I’m saying that too many great people can cause a stalemate and confusion abounds.

Do not fear!  There are solutions and things you can do now that you recognize there is a potential problem.

  • People work best with those who they perceive to be the most like themselves and the least with strangers.  When building a new team or adding members to an existing one, give the team time (virtually if you must) to tell funny stories, talk about themselves as people and compare life notes.  Even the most diverse people can find a common ground somewhere.  This process maybe painful for quiet/shy/introverted people.  Ask the gregarious members of the group to make sure they make a point to get to know and introduce the members who are less likely to embrace the social aspects of interacting with the team.
  • The leadership must care about more than just the task.  In cultures where nothing matters except getting the job done, the job is unlikely to be done well.  Leaders of teams of experts MUST genuinely care about the people and model behavior which shows that people are more than just the work they can output.  Giving of your time is the biggest gift you can give.  True in life, true on teams.
  • Teach members how to use effective communication and productive conflict resolution.  I realize this is something I talk about all the time and you might feel like I am beating a dead horse.  The simple truth is most people, regardless of their education level, simply don’t know how to have successful interpersonal interactions with people who are different from them. People who don’t know how to disagree without burning bridges are unlikely to ask their fellow team members for help.  Sad, frustrating but fixable.  Unfortunately, it is also one of the most ignored problems/solutions on teams today.  If you take nothing else away from this post, remember this point.
  • Layout clear roles and goals but leave the path flexible.  There is no reason to assemble a team of bright experts and then tell them brick by brick how they are supposed to reach the goal.  Make it clear what you need, what resources are available, what they do if they need more/different resources and let them do what they do best.  Children come up with more possible uses for a paperclip than adults do because children are not limited by expectations.  If you tell your team how you expect them to reach their goal they will only give you what you expect, nothing more.
  • Have regular get-togethers (in person is best, video conference is second) to talk about what is working, what isn’t and brainstorm.  Don’t try to make them structured meetings.  Ask intuitive, thought provoking questions and see where the conversation goes.  Create an environment that allows anyone to ask questions about something that confuses them.  Sometimes people with less knowledge on a subject can see the gaping hole that others are overlooking.  No finger pointing, no blame, just questions, answers and ideas.  Remember that sometimes “I don’t know. I will find out.” is the right answer.

I absolutely stand behind what I said last week about surrounding yourself with great people, formally educated or not.  Just be aware of the pitfalls of asking them to work together and you will certainly be on your way to achieving great things.

Why do you think education makes us worse team players?  Where on the path to becoming an expert do we learn to not play nice with others?  We would love to hear your thoughts in the comments.

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