Posts Tagged ‘team’

The Art of Real Teambuilding

February 14, 2011  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

Let’s start with what teambuilding is not.  It does not involve blindfolds, ladders or rope courses.  You don’t have to toss water balloons, carry eggs on spoons or pass oranges with your chin.  And making everyone wear the same t-shirt does not make a team either.  Those are all things you can do while you are teambuilding but they are not going to actually help you create a cohesive team.

Real teambuilding involves people actually speaking to each other about who they are as people to develop trust.  Think about the people you trust.  Who are they?  Why do you trust them?  I would bet you know them really well.  You know the kind of person they are, what their talents are and that they will have your back.  How can you create that kind of personal knowledge within a group?  Those conversations can take place during activities like rock climbing.  But wouldn’t it be better if the point of what you were doing was to actually team build rather than get to the top of a rock and hope the teambuilding happens along the way?

When we don’t know someone we tend to categorize them by their position.  “He is from legal.”  “She plays defense.”  “That’s the new pitcher.”  Not very personal.  So start your teambuilding by having the group get to know more about each other.  Here are a few examples of conversation starters I have used with teams:  (Remember as the facilitator you have to be engaged too.  Share your answers first and the rest of the team will be more comfortable sharing theirs!)

  • What is something about you or important to you that no one on the team knows? (My first paid job was on a horse ranch.)
  • What kinds of things really stress you out?  (It makes me crazy when people don’t do things they promised to do.)
  • What is your default response to conflict with someone? (I am most comfortable with ignoring it until it explodes.  It is absolutely a learned behavior for me to follow my own advice to address it head-on, deal with it, and move past it.)
  • Most people are leaders or followers depending on the situation.  When do you want to lead and when do you prefer to follow? (I am happy to lead or to follow as long as I understand and believe in where we are going and the plan to get there.)
  • How do you respond to stress? (I get really focused and start making lists.)
  • What is something you are really good at? (I am very compassionate when someone is hurting.)
  • What skill do you have that might surprise people?  (I can juggle – Thanks Elizabeth!)
  • What skills do you bring to this team? (My answer to this one depends on the team.)

Of course there are lots more but those will certainly get you started.  The point is, people don’t trust people they don’t know.  So help them get to know each other.  As each person responds to the question, encourage dialogue about the answer.  It is my experience that there are lots of good laughs.

If you want to have pizza or brownies or whatever while you do this – great!  Go for it.  As long as you don’t believe it is the food that is creating your team.

Have you ever had to engage in a “teambuilding” exercise that was more task than team? Come on, everybody has a horrible teambuilding experience.  Share it with us! I have a great one that landed me in the HR hot seat.  If we can get 10 comments this week I will add my story.  It’s a real doozy!!

Have a great week everybody!

Did you miss When is Good, Good Enough last week?  Read it here.

Next week: What is emotional intelligence and why does it matter?

Tags :, , , , , , , , , ,

Stopping a Downward Spiral

January 30, 2011  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  No Comments

Why do most teams, leaders, executives and coaches ignore issues with backstabbing, gossip and drama until the team is literally being torn apart? Key players quit, coaches or managers get fired – things get as bad as they possibly can before help is called in. I had a client say to me (after I had been working with them for awhile and things were back on track) “Well, we decided to give you a call because we had tried everything else”. Great, just what every expert wants to hear.

I know I always provide tips, tricks and ideas for issues – and I promise I will get to that. But for just a moment I am going to step out of that role and tell you straight up – every team I have known, been involved with or heard of that is at the point of meltdown has either been torn apart or they have brought in help. If your team is headed down that path get in touch with someone trained in group facilitation and team building. It can be me, it can be someone else – but bring in some help.

Okay, I am off of that soap box. If you don’t want to take the above advice, here are a few things you can do that can help. Success depends greatly on your team trusting whoever is facilitating the discussion.

Step 1 – Figure out what is going on and/or where the problem started. It took me between four and five hours over the course of two sessions in one day to get the whole story from the last time I worked with. I was careful to keep them on track so I could get the facts but also to make sure they felt like I was hearing their frustration and anger.

Step 2 – Acknowledge that there were certainly things that could have been handled differently and that where they are now is not a good place. Get buy-in that everyone on the team believes something has to change. If anyone thinks things “aren’t so bad” they will drag their feet during the change process.

Step 3 – Brainstorm what “solved” looks like. This step is about the end result not the process. What has to happen for everyone on the team to put the issue behind them and move forward?

Step 4 – Brainstorm the process to get to “solved”. Once you have the end goal from step three you can start figuring out how to get there. It won’t be easy but you need a plan.

Step 5 – Get buy-in from everyone on the team that the goal and the process are acceptable and will bring closure.

Step 6 – Put the plan into motion. Make sure you include check-in points. Every member of the team is responsible for following the process, holding others accountable to the process and bringing up issues or concerns if the process isn’t working. Be willing to make changes as you move along to make sure you reach your end goal.

Step 7 – Agree as a team that the issue has been addressed and is over. Hold each other accountable to not going back to “that place”. The commitment to closure is critical. That way if someone tries to slide back into an old issue you can remind them that it is over and part of the past.

So there it is, the simple yet oh so challenging framework for dealing with a team spiraling out of control. It is hard work. Members might not feel safe enough to be honest. Hurt feelings might not be discussed like they should and people may lie and say they are willing to move past something and not be. But if you stick to it for as long as it takes (I worked with a team for almost two full semesters before they were ‘better’) you will get there.

When you’ve tried everything you can on your own and it still isn’t working – you know how to reach me.

Do you have tips or ideas about dealing with team drama? We will love to hear them!

Next week: When is good – good enough?

Did you miss last week when we talked about keeping your team from falling into the pitfalls of office politics, gossip and team drama? Read it here.

Tags :, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

How Well Do You Know You?

January 2, 2011  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  2 Comments

It seems like a pretty straightforward question.  Of course the answer is you know you better than anyone else.  Here is a more difficult question – How well can you explain you to someone else?  Being able to do that requires taking your overall belief of who you are and put it, honestly, into words.  That is more complex than it sounds.  Psychology studies have shown it is common for people to tell others who they wish they were rather than who they really are.  Not because they are mean spirited and lying.  But because the desire is so strong we believe we really are who we want to be.  Which means maybe you don’t know yourself as well as you think you do.

Here is a great personal development exercise to help you learn a little bit about yourself (it also works well for advance team development).  Think about how you prefer to receive feedback.  If you are like most people how you want to receive feedback has never crossed your mind.  But when someone does it wrong you certainly recognize it and become hurt or angry.  So, if someone has something they want to discuss with you, what is the best way to approach you?

Here are a few examples I have heard from clients to get you started:

“Feedback works best for me one on one and in private.  When someone tries to give me feedback and other people can hear it I feel criticized and am quick to become defensive.  Once that happens I have a hard time taking it in and using what is being said.”

“I am pretty good at hearing feedback as feedback when it is coming from someone I trust.  When I know someone it’s cool if they just say ‘hey, do it this way’.  But if it is somebody I don’t really know it is better if they pull me aside.”

“I have a pretty tough skin and I’m all about getting better.  If someone sees something I can improve I want them to speak up right away.  That way I have context for what they are telling me.  After the fact I won’t be able to apply it.”

“I know I’m a softie when it comes to being told I’m doing something wrong.  I feel like a failure and stupid.  I am working on not shutting down when people try to help me get better… I guess for me it works best if my teammates know to be nice about it.  I want feedback.  I want to get better.  It is something I can use some help with.”

So if I had some feedback, simple or serious, what would be the best way for me to talk to you about it so you could hear and use it effectively?  After you know what works best for you, who needs to know?  That might be a tricky question too.  You are opening up to someone when you share about yourself.  Who do you trust?  Who will use the information to make you better and who will use it to tear you down?

Like I said at the beginning – This is a great personal development exercise.  I recommend it to anyone wanting to grow as an individual.  If you implement it for team development, keep in mind it should be used for teams well on the path to being cohesive.  If you try to get team members who don’t trust each other to share this type of information they will lie to make themselves looks good.  That totally defeats the purpose of the exercise.

Do you think you and/or your team could benefit from this exercise?  Have you witnessed a situation where someone tried to give feedback in a way couldn’t be heard?  We would love to hear from you in the comments or contact Doc Robyn directly.

Come back next week to learn how to deal with toxic, negative people.

Do you wish your athletes or employees would share more of their ideas?  Read last week’s topic for ideas on how to create an environment where good ideas don’t get lost.

Tags :, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Interviewing for Fit

October 24, 2010  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  3 Comments

After interviewing dozens of potential people you have finally found the right person. Everything you are looking for she has. She is exactly what your team needs to go from good to great. You are so excited to have her get started you are even talking about her and the difference she is going to make with your family and friends.

Three months later you can’t figure out what went wrong. You were right, she does have all the technical skills you needed but it isn’t working. The team isn’t integrating her ideas and other members of your team have started coming to you complaining about your “perfect” person. What happened? What did you miss?

There are two things that may have gone wrong. Both are solvable (assuming the team, you and the new member are willing to work at it). We will talk about one this week and one next week. The one we are going to talk about today can be avoided during the interviewing process. It is important to interview someone not only to determine if they have the skills you need but also to find out how they will fit into the culture of your team and the larger organization. Additionally, share important aspects of your culture with the interviewee. You don’t want them thinking they are accepting a job in Camelot.

Here are a few of the questions I have used successfully during the interview process:

How do you handle conflict? How do you set expectations? How do you like to have expectations set out for you? What is your leadership style? What style of leadership is easiest for you to follow? If a member of your team made a mistake how would you handle it? How open are you adapting your methods? These questions can also be experience based by saying something like “tell me about a time you had a serious disagreement with someone, how did it end”. Just make sure they tell you about themselves and what they did. Rather than about how someone else had a problem with them.

The first thing you have to realize about these types of questions is most people have not thought about things in this way before and now you are asking them to think about them in the pressure of an interview. Don’t be overly critical about how the process of providing answers works. Granted, it is data about how your interviewee responds to stress. But it is more important to listen and take notes on the actual answers. There is a saying among consultants, “it is all there at entry”. It means everything you need to know is there at the start. You just have to be able to see and hear it. That is exactly what will happen when you ask these types of questions. Everything you need to know about the person will be there. You just have to be able to pick up on it and that isn’t easy. If you are interviewing for a very important role on your team this might be a good time to bring in some help.

I am NOT saying that anyone who provides answers that don’t exactly match your team culture should be out of the running. Not at all. Particularly if you receive answers that could fit, are the direction you wish your team would go or if the individual indicates he/she is open to adapting to the existing culture. Those types of differences can begin to be ironed out during the on-boarding process.

However, if you hear very strong stances that are worlds away from where your team is and where it is going, you might want to make note of them as red flags. Again, that doesn’t mean you can’t bring them in. But know what you are getting yourself and your team into. Bringing on a talented ‘bad apple’ or toxic person is not going to do your team any favors and it will pull valuable emotional resources away from your existing members. As long as you (and your team) are willing to deal with that to gain the talent, go ahead and make an offer.

One more thing to remember, sometimes someone who looks perfect on paper and even interviews well doesn’t fit. Know when to cut your loses and let them find happiness somewhere else.

Next week we will talk about the second thing that might have gone wrong if your perfect talent isn’t working out as you had hoped; how to bring new talent in so they can hit the ground running.

Do you have a story about a ‘perfect’ person not working out? Or maybe you have questions you use in the interview process to determine fit. Share them with us. We always look forward to reading your comments!

If you missed last week learn the 6 steps to having tough conversations here.

Tags :, , , , , , , , ,

A Tiger Behind Every Tree

October 3, 2010  |  Posted by Doc Robyn |  No Comments

We are programmed to be paranoid. Don’t take offence. It is what kept our ancestors alive when there was the very real risk of a deadly beast hiding behind every rock and tree in the landscape. The thing is, unless you are Calvin from the comic strip Calvin and Hobbes, you don’t have much need to worry about tigers.

Many of us instead use our paranoid programming to watch out for the colleague or teammate who might be out to get us. Anything and everything they say or do we take as an indication we are under attack. My bet, the assault isn’t really happening or at least it is being blown it out of proportion.

This is a case of perception versus reality. When I do speaking engagements I will often ask, “what is the difference between perception and reality?” Think about that for a moment before you read more. What is the difference to you? I get a variety of answers but this is the one I use: “Perception is what you think. Reality is what I think.” I usually get chuckling in response. But it is true. All of us think we are the only one in tune with reality. The ability to monitor your internal dialogue (the thoughts and feelings going on in your head) will go a long way to making a conversation go smoothly and keeping you as close as possible to the collective reality.

I know you are thinking “how do I have a conversation, listen to the other people involved and monitor my internal dialogue. That’s a lot going on.” That is somewhat true. Now you are starting to see how you might use the silence we talked about last week. But monitoring your internal dialogue isn’t something that needs to be done by thinking in words. It is more about paying attention to your physical reaction to the situation.

What does your body feel like when you are stressed? I know, “feel” is sometimes thought as a dirty word but go with it for a moment. Feeling stressed might mean pressure in your chest, tightness in your shoulders, maybe your heart rate goes up, perhaps you start to feel hot. Figure out what it is for you. Once you know what you are looking for you can start to recognize it and observe why you are feeling that way.

If you start to feel your stress signals happening, asking yourself, “what is going on here? Why am I having a physical reaction?” After you determine what is causing your body to respond (and that isn’t easy) you have to decide if it is something you need to bring up with the team or an individual or maybe is it “your stuff” (topic for next week). If you need to bring it up, when and how.

For this week, think about how you and your team can keep from being ambushed by nonexistent tigers. Create a way to talk about those reactions rather than burying them. Trust me, tigers don’t like to be buried and the attack will be worse later.

Do you have a story about a time you or someone you know thought they were under verbal attack but it turned out not to be the case? What happened? What did it take to get the situation straightened out? Was there permanent damage to the relationship? Tell us about it in the comments!

Next week we will talk about everybody’s emotional ‘stuff’ and how it gets in the way of being our most productive!

Last week’s post Why Silence Is Golden can be found here.

Tags :, , , , , , , , , ,