You know who it is. Could be a man or a woman, high maintenance, everything has to be done their way or there will be a price to pay. You usually just decide to go along with whatever it is to keep the peace. It is certainly easier than dealing with the drama and fallout of trying to go against his/her wishes. But is having a friend or acquaintance worth the damage being done to you and your ability to succeed in life?
You might be wondering how it matters to your success when someone you know is a diva. It’s not like you are acting like a brat and throwing a fit to get your way. How can are their actions be affecting you? Obviously, if you are in the immediate vicinity when it happens you might receive some negative responses by association. But being friends with a diva is actually affecting you on a much deeper level, even when that person isn’t around.
A diva will train you to subvert your needs to what they want. It will become second nature for you to just go with whatever they are demanding to avoid the fight. It is very likely that over time you won’t even bother to think about what you want because it doesn’t matter anyway.
Here is the problem with that – once you start ‘just going with the flow’ in one area of your life, you are likely to let that carry over in to other areas. That type of “whatever works for you” behavior does not do you any favors on your team. Other people’s thoughts and ideas will be heard, while yours go unspoken. The more that happens the more you start to fade into the background. You won’t be thought of for special projects or promotions. You will simply become a worker bee who does what needs to be done but never provides any fresh ideas.
Your friends should be where you get to practice productive conflict so you can take those skills into work. You have to ask yourself, is that diva worth becoming stuck in a dead-end job? I think not. Don’t let a diva get your life off track and stifle your potential. Take ownership of your future and maximize your potential by only having friends who provide opportunities to practice effective communication and conflict resolution skills.
Do you have a diva in your life? What is he/she doing for you that you stay friends? Do you agree or disagree that they are limiting your success? Let us know in the comments.
Read last week’s post to learn why we need more conflict in our lives.
Next week: Why boys’ sports teams are better than girls